Close your eyes and see me
by French Dreamer
Summary: Sebastian Smythe spends lots of time in a sex shop where for a few dollars, he can watch strippers through a one way mirror. One of them happens to be Kurt Hummel. Will they find a way to each other over their hidden secrets? Well, I think I just wrote a very kinky story. If you might be triggered, ask for the warnings. Also, Blaine's definitly not the good guy here.
1. Sebastian

Sebastian Smythe had a problem and he knew it very well. Actually, he didn't really think it was a problem. Okay, he couldn't get a hard on anywhere else than in his favorite sex shop, watching some professional strippers do their show through a one way mirror. Seeing but not being seen, knowing the guy was at arm length but didn't know he was on the other side was his only way to jerk off. But he won millions of dollars for each movie he played in, so he had enough money to spend for his perversion. After all, he was staying away from all the expensive drugs most of his colleagues were addicted to, so what if his drug was oblivious strippers?

Sure, in high school, he'd have biology classes and talk with other guys. He had known everything about erections, masturbation, porn and sexual orientations. Except he had never been turned on by anything. Like, he had a dick but it stayed pathetically uselessly flabby between his legs. He had heard lots of stories about friends freaking out the first time they'd woke up sporting a hard on, not knowing what was happening to them, but never had it happened to him.

He had felt abnormal back in that time. He had tried to watch porn with absolutely no success. He'd watch boobs, and asses and everything that could turn a guy on, nothing. Back in the time, he'd even try to hire a prostitute. The woman had been nice but nothing she had done had had him hard. She'd say maybe she was not the good one for him, that he might be gay. It had been hope for Sebastian and he'd tried gay porn and gay prostitute with no more success.

He had come up to the conclusion he was probably asexual. And when he had first met Blaine and had felt strong feelings for the boy, he had asked him out. They had had a few coffee dates and soon enough, they had become boyfriends. But then, Blaine had discovered his secret. He hadn't understood, said that if Sebastian wasn't turned on by him at all, then it was that he didn't love him. He had broken up with him. And then, he had transferred to another high school. Sebastian had heard by Nick and Jeff that Blaine had found a boyfriend there and was very happy with him.

Sebastian had been devastated. Blaine was his first love, his first heartbreak. The boy had left him hopeless to ever fall in love with someone who'd love him back because he was a freak.

That had changed one night in a tacky gay bar in hellhole of Ohio. He had gone to the restroom to down the two beers he had drunk. There was a hole in the wall between the stall he was in and the one on his left. He was about to come out when someone entered the other stall and quickly started to jerk off. He had seen enough porn to recognize the muffled noises that escaped the other man throat.

Sebastian had take a look through the hole. The other guy was obviously too deep to realize he was being watched. That's when it happened. Sebastian had had his very first erection, watching an oblivious teenager jerking himself off in a dirty bathroom. Followed the first time he masturbated and very, very soon, the first time he had had an orgasm.

He thought that maybe Blaine was right, he didn't love him enough and maybe, as weird as their first meeting had been, maybe that guy was it for Sebastian. That's how he had decided to hit on that guy and try and date him.

David Karofsky was so different from Blaine, but he was nice. And if he was the only one who could turn him on and make him come like that first time in the bathroom, he was definitely worth a try.

But then no matter how many times they'd tried, Sebastian had never been turned on again. David seemed quite happy with what was happening between them despite the fact Sebastian could only please him with hand jobs or a couple of blowjobs.

Sebastian had ended up their relationship when he had understood what his problem truly was when he had been turned on by his new neighbor obliviously changing in front of his open window. Not only was he gay, but he was a fucking voyeur who was only turned on by men who didn't know he was watching them. David deserved better than him.

Sebastian hadn't told exactly why he was breaking up, but yet, they had remained friends anyway. They ended up going to university together in New-York and had been roommates, until David had met Adam, the love of his life.

He had been very happy for his friend, Adam was exactly the kind of man David deserved to love and be loved by. But well, let's say that new happiness in his friend's life hadn't eased the hurt of being inappropriate; of being sure he'd never have a chance at love himself.

So Sebastian had concentrated on his studies, on his career, because it wasn't as if he was going to have anything else to do any time soon. He had first been a model, one of those fairy tale stories where an agency director had seen him in the street and asked him to model for his clients. Then, attending multiples show-business parties, he had met movie directors and was now an actor. A very famous actor. One of his colleagues had made him discover that particular sex shop where strippers were doing their shows from behind a mirror.

Sebastian had come back alone later and sure enough he had been able to jerk himself off for the second time in his life. So the place became usual for him. Once or twice he had tried to ask for one of them to come in the same room as him. One of them had accepted, a very built blonde guy. Though he had said they couldn't have anal sex because he was accepting, but he was totally straight. Not that it would have ever happened anyway, since Sebastian had been totally unable to get turned on once the guy was there.

So yes, Sebastian Smythe had a problem, but it wasn't really a problem as long as his 'victims' knew what was happening behind the mirror.


	2. Kurt

Kurt felt dirty for what he was going to do. Would he have had a choice, he wouldn't be there. He had totally judged Sam when he had discovered he had stripped for money. He had thought his friend could have done anything else to win money. And there he was, eight years later, on his way to do exactly the same. Because he didn't have any other choice, because unlike he had thought back in high school, you don't always have a choice when it came to survive.

"It's not that bad you know. They're behind a mirror so they can't touch you and you won't be able to see them." Sam was saying beside him in an attempt to sooth him.

"Yeah, sure." Kurt snorted and Sam looked bashful.

"Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, you just go in there, you do what you have to and that's the end. Make sure to let them see that gorgeous ass of yours and you'll see, they'll tip you like crazy."

"Yeah, right I'll see. Thanks Sam."

"I'm sorry Kurt. I know you shouldn't be here, that's not your world. You're worth better than that. But you asked me…"

"No, it's fine Sam. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped, you're really helping me. I'm just nervous I guess."

Yes, Kurt should have had a very different career. He should have been a singer, he should be on Broadway, he should be a fashion editor. But life had decided otherwise.

He had had the best love story ever in high school with Blaine. The guy had been like a Prince Charming escaped from a fairy tale. At least until Kurt first went to New-York, leaving him behind and Blaine had cheated. They had broken up.

Then Kurt had met Adam but things hadn't worked up so well between them. Adam had claimed that he could never replace Blaine since Kurt was still deeply in love with him. Anyway, in the end, Adam had met David Karofsky and they had fallen in love.

It was sickening to see them together for Kurt, but he liked Adam. Though the British guy was right, Blaine still had a huge place in Kurt's heart.

When Blaine had been graduated and finally came to New-York, Kurt had given in and they had tried to get back together. They had gone back and forth to be together and not. The day Blaine had proposed, Kurt had thought he was going to be happy.

But then, there had been the accident. A drunk driver had hit Kurt on his way home. Kurt had been in a coma for two weeks. When he had woken up, Blaine was by his side, holding his hand. The accident had left after effects. Kurt couldn't walk anymore.

Blaine had been understanding at first. But then, with Kurt not being able to get a hard on either, the little bastard had definitely left, saying it was like with his ex all over again and he couldn't live like that.

It had left Kurt broken. He couldn't be on Broadway for obvious reasons, he couldn't even be just a singer because though he could still speak, his vocal cords had been touched in some extent and singing was no longer an option. Fashion was out of the way too, he had lost his best inspiration.

Fortunately, Sam had been by his side, motivating him to go through his physical therapy and he had regained almost all of his abilities. Just, not enough to find a job.

So there he was because Sam had told him he could totally do that job and would make a hell lot of money now that he had his hip-sway back.

And Kurt needed the money. He couldn't live at Sam's expenses forever.

"I know you don't want to Kurt, but you should think about accepting to be in the same room as them sometimes. It's not that bad you know. You don't have to let them touch you if you don't want to. But they pay even more when they want you with them."

"I said no Sam. It's creepy enough as it is."

"I just say you should think about it. Once a weird guy asked for me. It was an actor, can't say who obviously. He had paid indecent amount of money to have me, but once I was there, the guy went all soft, no way to get him hard. He blew me Kurt, can you believe it? He paid like millions to blow me. I don't know why because fuck, he was talented, anyone would have paid him to give them a blowjob."

"Not everyone want a blowjob from a guy who can't have an erection Sam, even if the guy is talented. Hell, even if they said they loved them."

"Sorry, I had forgotten."

"It's okay. Can you just show me the room I have to go so I can just finish with it?"

"Yeah, sure." Sam answered, taking Kurt's arm to get him to the room. "Break a leg for your first." He added, opening the door.

"If only." Kurt muttered, entering the room.

There was a mirror facing the door, though on the other side of the mirror, there was someone waiting for the show. Kurt didn't know anything about the person or the persons behind the glass. And to be honest, he thought it was for the better, he could do his show without caring about them.

He pushed the button beside the door, letting the light make him seen on the other side. He slowly started to undress, as slowly and sensually as he could trying to forget about the fact he was being watched.

He did as Sam had told him, dancing showing his ass. He wanted to cry. Not for the first time since the accident, he kinda wished he had died in the accident. He did the best he could, being very slow, hoping the person behind the mirror would be turned on.

Because, let's face it, his job now was to be masturbation material for creepers.


	3. I've been blind

Sebastian was stressed. He had a lot of events to be to, to promote his last movie. He really needed to get some release and the only way he knew to get that was to give some money to his usual sex shop.

He knew all the guys that were working there by now. Well, not personally but he knew all their faces, had jerked off watching all of their abs, had seen most of their cocks in all states from soft to hard. The less prudes of them had even accepted to jerk off in front of the mirror for extra money.

That day, when the bored cashier had told him they had a newbie, a total virgin to the job, he had immediately wanted to be the one to see his first show.

He was comfortably seated in the large red couch, waiting for the guy to show up, thinking the thing must have been a pain in the ass to keep that clean after all the times he, or other men, had come all over it.

When the new guy entered, Sebastian was stunned. He was beautiful, long, thin, with an ass to die for. Why was he even here? The guy should be a star with that ass.

Sebastian smiled, instantly getting hard seeing the guy so nervous. He opened his fly and took himself in hand. He started to stroke gently, moaning in pleasure. The guy sure did have moves. Sebastian wondered for a time how it would be to watch him simply moving naked in his kitchen on the morning. He was sure it would be a beautiful vision even if he didn't know yet what he looked like naked.

When the shirt went off, Sebastian sighed. That man was nothing like the other workers there. They were all cut like Greek statues, with pronounced abs. This one didn't have abs, but yet, his stomach was flat. His pale skin was flawless. Sebastian wished he could tease this tiny nipples with his tongue, wondered if the guy would like it, like Blaine had, the few times they had made out, or if he'd be indifferent to the caress like Dave was. He wished he could get lost in the hollow of his belly button.

Sebastian had never been able to have a hard on with Dave after that first time at Scandals when he hadn't been technically with him, but he had loved their sexual relations. He had loved giving pleasure to his boyfriend even if he himself didn't get physical release out of it. He'd loved watching Dave falling apart from his fingertips.

The guy behind the glass slowly let his pants down with so much grace. Never once before Sebastian had been able to totally forgot these guys were paid to do that. Sure, none of them had acted as if they knew what was happening on the other side of the mirror, but still, it was obvious, too practiced moves to be natural. This one was different, for a few seconds, he forgot that the guy knew everything happening on his side of the glass. Sebastian was so hard, discovering those long legs.

He wanted to put his hands on his knees and slowly stroking up, kissing gently his inner thighs. He wanted to grab those perfectly firm globes. He wanted to be the one sliding his thumbs under the waistband of the boxer briefs and ask with one look if he should pull them off. Maybe he'd see some lust in these blue eyes.

The guy was finally naked, his cock was soft, resting gently on his balls. That turned Sebastian on even more, he could believe he was spying on an oblivious neighbor changing into his pajamas on the evening. He tightened his grip on his cock, looking at that perfect ass again. He wanted to tentatively slide one finger to just brush against the little hole, see if the guy would like that. If he did, he wondered if his fingers would be enough for him or if he'd want more. Would he be a total asshole like Blaine and be so upset if Sebastian wasn't turned on.

Above all, not for the first time, he wondered what it was like to be able to get hard with someone really being there and what it was like to plunge slowly inside another guy. What it would feel like to see his own cock disappearing between these creamy white cheeks.

He felt that familiar feeling in his guts, the telltale of his pending orgasm. But just at this second, the guy turned again and looked at the mirror intensely. Just as if he was seeing through the mirror and was looking directly at Sebastian.

"Fuck. No, no, no, no, no. That can't..." Sebastian cursed, feeling his cock going soft in his grip. "Come on, what the hell do they teach them? It's supposed to be a fucking mirror."

No matter how much he tried, nothing he did got him hard again. He groaned in frustration, he was so close, he was going to come even harder than his first time watching Dave in the restrooms. He sighed dramatically, replacing himself in his pants and zipping the fly.

He was furious. He angrily went to the counter and yelled at the poor cashier who hadn't done anything to piss him off.

"He saw me! Your one way mirror is nothing more than a fucking window. He was able to see me through it."

"That's impossible." The cashier tried to object.

"Cut the crap, I know what happened. He saw me. Hell, he was looking at me."

"He couldn't…"

"Don't tell me he didn't, because I saw his eyes on me, he looked right. In. My. Eyes."

"He didn't."

"He totally did."

"Will you shut up and let me talk for one second." The cashier spat, getting up. "He wouldn't have looked at you even if there wasn't a window between you two. He couldn't, he's blind."

"He… what?"

"Yes, I'm sure you feel like a total jackass now. He's blind since a drunk driver hit him a few years ago."

"I… I want him. Whenever I come here, I want him. Next time I want him with me."

"What a change of mind now. But he won't agree. The guy's uptight. He'd be anywhere else would he have a choice. He specified being a stripper was degrading enough, he'd never go as down as to prostitute. His words, not mine."

"Tell your boss I'm willing to pay half a million dollar to have him. Should be enough to loosen him up."

"I wouldn't be so sure. The man's really puts pride in his purity."

"Well, tell your boss the offer, I'm sure she can find the right arguments to make him accept. Especially if she knows that it's either having him to accept or losing me and all of my friends as clients."

"I'll say her. But don't get your hopes up."

"Don't worry about me."


	4. Convinced

"Porcelain, in my office after your last show." Kurt's boss yelled at him across the halls when he came out from his fourth show of the day.

He had signed up for five each day, which meant he thought he was almost through with his first day. He wondered why he had chosen that name to be his name in that business. Especially since his boss reminded him of a slightly younger version of Sue Sylvester.

"I can't…" he tried to protest weakly.

"Did you hear me ask if you could? It wasn't a question Porcelain. You come in my office after your last show or you're fired and I won't even pay you for today. Is it clear?"

"Yes Claire, very clear."

"Good. Now go make those three men enjoy their show. The more they come over your ass, the more I win money. Be a good alive porn. Don't forget to show them your cock hard."

Kurt did as he had been told, or at least tried. He felt dirty knowing there were not one but three men watching at him, he just couldn't bring himself to get hard. He wanted to take a shower, to clean off from the shame he felt, but no luck, Claire caught him before he could. She called him to her office right away and told him to wait her here.

When she came back, she seemed to be furious.

"What did I told you before your last show? I told you to sport a nice hard on. If you can't do that by yourself, there are pills. I don't care how, if they want you hard, you have to be hard. I've been easy on you today because it's your first day, but next time, you'll have to jerk off if that's what they ask."

"I… sorry I…."

"Don't need to hear your excuses. Just do it right the next time. Right, now that this is clear, looks like you didn't screw up everything today. Your very first costumer enjoyed the show. He asked for you to be his exclusive dancer. The next time, he wants a very private show, no mirror between you."

"No, I won't do that. I thought it was clear I wasn't going to prostitute."

"Oh, that's very clear Porcelain, that's not prostitution, that's private show. You'll just do whatever he asks you to do so I win lots of money."

"Still not doing it. I signed up for behind glass shows, not for private shows."

"You should have read your contract better." Claire said with a snort. "That's a half a million dollar offer, I won't pass on it."

"You mean, if I accept, I'll win half a million dollar?"

"Don't be silly, it means _I _will win half a million. I'll just consider paying you fully for today and forget about your messed up show with three of my best clients and pay you for it if the private show goes well. I don't leave you a choice here. If you don't do it, I won't pay you at all. You can go now."

Kurt didn't have much time to think about it anyway. The day after, his very first show was to be the private show.

"You know what you have to do if you want to be paid Porcelain." Claire reminds him. "Dance and undress as if you didn't know someone's watching you. Shouldn't be too hard since you won't see him, anyway. Do as if he wasn't even here unless he talks to you. And do _every single_ thing he asks you to."

That wasn't as easy as Claire thought to remain seemingly oblivious. He could hear the short breaths escaping the other's mouth when Kurt let his shirt down. He could hear the guy unzip his pants to stroke himself. He could smell the scent of arousal of the man. Surprisingly enough, Kurt found out he was a bit aroused by that. He had no instruction about his state of arousal, so he didn't think too much about that. He stayed focused on not showing he knew he was being watched.

He could hear the slippery hand stroking the hard flesh and the tiny gasps of pleasure when he was only in his boxers. When he finally got totally nude, his fully hard cock now resting on his stomach, he could hear and smell the guy coming.

He kept dancing though, as if he didn't know. That was what he was supposed to do.

"C'me here." The guy said breathlessly after a minute or two, the end almost sounding as a question.

Kurt hesitated for a few seconds.

"Please?"

Kurt walked slowly towards the guy, not knowing what was going to happen. He heard the guy pulling the zip of his pants and getting up.

"Can I touch you? You're so beautiful."

"You paid; you can do what you want." Kurt answered tiredly.

Kurt felt a hand tentatively brushing his hip.

"Fuck, your skin is so soft. You turned me on so much gorgeous."

"Do you want me to… jerk you off, or… to… blow you?" Kurt asked, trying not to gag at the idea, playing along with the fact he wasn't supposed to have known he wasn't alone until the guy had talked.

"No, it's fine, I already came."

"So why are you still here? Isn't it why you're here, come and leave? Just like everyone here."

"I wanna make you come too gorgeous. Wanna see your beautiful face when you come. Is it okay?"

"You paid." Kurt answered, shrugging while in fact; the idea turned him on even more.

"Is this okay?" the guy asked, wrapping lightly a hand around Kurt's cock.

"Yes." Kurt answered with a moan.

The client started to jerk him off slowly. Kurt didn't understand what was happening. He was supposed to be masturbation material, nothing more. The guys and girls coming here were all there to get excited by his dance moves, to jerk off watching him. Maybe some were even here to fuck each other while watching him, like the day before when they were three.

This one seemed different. He seemed to really care about Kurt's pleasure despite his weird desires.

"Do you like that gorgeous? That feels good?" the guy asked, sliding his thumb across the leaking head.

"I… yes… It feels good… really good." Kurt panted.

Kurt thought he should feel bad about the whole situation. He was letting a total stranger touch him very intimately for money. That looked like prostitution. But that was the first time in years, the first time since Blaine had dumped him that someone was touching him and it felt really good to have someone caring about his pleasure. The guy was talking him through it with his sensual voice, calling him 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous'.

Kurt bit his lip, feeling the pleasure building up. In any other situation, with any other guy, he'd have let himself go quickly to end all this. But there was something about that guy, about how he was caring, about how he was talking and even how he smelled, that was making Kurt want it to last as long as possible.

He breathed slowly, trying to hold back the orgasm making its way in his stomach and his balls. That felt so good. Kurt wondered why, with his skills at hand jobs; this guy had the need to pay to have any kind of sex. Maybe he was ugly? Kurt couldn't imagine that with his voice but then maybe he had had an accident too, that had left him disfigured, making him unable to find a boyfriend.

"Oh yes, yes, yes. Holy crap, you're good at that. Don't stop. Please don't stop. Feels so good." Kurt breathed out.

"Not gonna stop until you come gorgeous." His client whispered into his ear.

"Just like that, yes. Don't stop. Yes, yes, gonna make me come. Yes, 'm gonna…" Kurt cried out, shooting hot spurts into his client hand.

The guy stroked him through his orgasm, leaving him breathing heavily.

"You're so beautiful when you come gorgeous. Will you let me have you like that again?"

"Don't play as if I had any choice, please. I need the money and if you offer a million dollar any time you want something, Claire will threaten me into doing anything you want. If you asked to fuck me raw with no prep and no lube, she'd force me to do it or I wouldn't be paid at all."

"I… yeah, right, I had almost forgotten. I paid! I'm a fucking pervert and I had to pay so I could jerk off watching you. You need money and I have lots of money. See gorgeous, I'll make you mine. Get you to be my unique dancer here and make it so I'll be the only one you'll dance for. You know what, I'm sure for 2 million dollar Claire would be more than willing to make you come home with me for an entire week. I could watch you as a nice alive prop in my house and make you come in every room. I could do whatever I want of that beautiful body of yours. Think I'll do that. I'm going to turn your world upside down gorgeous."

"It's Porcelain." Kurt protested weakly.

"Oh no gorgeous, you wanted to stop to play pretend. So we stop to play pretend. I won't call you by that stupid name Claire chose to give you. I'll call you by your real name or call you gorgeous because you're by far the most gorgeous man I've ever set my eyes on. Now go. If you have a dog or a cat or a child, you should get a friend to take care of them for a week from tomorrow because when you'll come back for your shift, I'll be there to bring you home with me."

"You're a sickened pervert."

"Yeah, I am. But I'm rich, Claire would sell her own mother for two hundred dollars and you don't have another job to win money. I want you, I get to have you. As simple as that. See you tomorrow gorgeous." The client said and reached the door to go.

Kurt was struck. He knew he didn't have any other choice. He was going to have to spend a week with that strange guy. He was torn. On one hand, he was scared about what the guy was going to do to him. But on the other hand, he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed to be touched, to have someone making him come undone under their hands.


	5. Bring him home

The next day, Sebastian was at the sex shop at the exact time when his gorgeous stripper was supposed to come in. He had had a call from Claire the day before, barely thirteen minutes after he had left her office (not that he had counted) to tell him that she accepted his offer.

So here he was waiting for him to show up and take him to his house. He was sure he was going to have the most enjoyable week of his life. He was going to be able to jerk off to the stripper just getting ready in the morning. He could do whatever he wanted to the guy; see him come hard under his touch.

He waited outside of his car. When he saw the stripper arriving, his face lit up as it hadn't since he had broken up with Dave. It was unhealthy, he knew, to slowly get attached to a guy he was paying to get a right to spy on for his own pleasure, but he couldn't help it.

"Hi gorgeous. Let me help you to get in the car, Jeffrey will take your bag to the trunk, is it alright?" Sebastian asked softly.

"Who's Jeffrey?"

"He's my driver."

"Hi Sir. May I take your bag?" Jeffrey said respectfully to the young dancer.

"Uh, hi Sir. Yes you may." The guy answered, handing his bag to the driver just as he could see him.

"Please, call me Jeff, that's how mister Smythe calls me."

"He got to call you by your first name but you have to give him some mister Smythe? That's a typical rich man."

"Oh no, I usually call him by his first name too. I've just been asked to not use it in front of you before he knows yours."

"Jeffrey's actually one of my best friends. I know him since high school. Come in now gorgeous." Sebastian said, taking the stripper by his arm and gently guiding him to the car.

"Why would it be so important for you to know my real name?" the stripper asked, reaching for his seat belt.

Sebastian thought about it for a few seconds. He hadn't thought this through, really.

"I… I don't know actually. You're… special I guess. I just… I can't explain why, but I wanna know everything about you."

"You're paying my boss so she threaten me into going to your house for a week and let you use my body anytime and anyway you want. We're not dating or something; we're not even _friends_, mister Smythe." The dancer snarled. "It's not like we should know each other's names at all."

"I won't use your body." Sebastian muttered. "Not the way you think at least."

"Oh lucky me, you won't fuck me, or so you say. Sorry to break it to you, but it's not less degrading if you make me fuck you."

"You're unfair, you don't know me, you don't know why I paid."

"I know you, you're all the same sickened perverts too ugly or insufferable to get yourselves true boyfriends so you end up paying desperate guys like me so you can jerk off while you watch us stripping naked. The fact that you're not one of those who expect us to sport hard-on or even jerk off doesn't make you better than the others."

"Shut up. Just shut up now. I'm not better than anyone. In some way, I'm even worse." Sebastian cut. "The worst." He added under his breath.

"Oh, and what will you do to make me? Not pay Claire? That's not like she will pay me differently anyway. Shove your cock into my mouth? Not like it never happened to me before, I've had boyfriends that loved my mouth only stretched around their dicks."

"Please, stop. Just… stop." Sebastian required, in a wounded up tone.

It seemed to be enough for the dancer to actually stop talking. He even seemed annoyed for a second. The window between them and Jeffrey came down.

"Gentlemen, we're here. Do you want me to take your bags up?"

"No, thanks Jeff, I'll take care of that. You can go home; I'll call you if we need you before we have to drive him back."

"Thank you S… mister Smythe." Jeff answered, almost letting slip Sebastian first name. "See you then. Enjoy your week here Sir."

Sebastian helped his guest out of the car, took his bag and guided him to the house.

"So, your first name starts with an S? S. Smythe? SS, just like the Nazi army? That's interesting."

"I prefer when my middle name initial is used to, if you don't mind. At least SOS sounds less offending."

"Steve Owen?" the dancer tried.

"You won't know if I don't know yours gorgeous."

"In your place, I wouldn't bet." The guy said, amused.

"Should I… show you your room; maybe you wanna take a nap? Or eat something before, or drink… I don't know."

"I didn't take a plane to come here you know." The guy said, laughing, and that laugh sounded angelic to Sebastian's ear.

"Yeah, right, silly me. Do I show you your room anyway?"

"I don't know S, you paid, what do you wanna do?"

"Okay, let's settle you into your room." Sebastian said, taking the dancer's arm to guide him to the guest room.

"You know, I can actually walk without your help, I'm doing it every day since… Well since a few years."

"Sorry, I thought, since you don't know the house…"

"I'm kidding S." the guy said with that beautiful laugh again. "Not entirely, I mean, I do can walk by myself, but you're right, I don't know where we're going exactly."

"Oh, funny. So, here we are." Sebastian said, opening the door. "Here's the bed, don't worry, I changed the sheets. This is the closet; I left you some place for your clothes if you want. And that door here leads to your bathroom. But you can use mine any time you want." He explained, letting his guest feel the things with his hands.

"I don't get it. I get to have my own room, place in the closet for my clothes, my own bathroom. Is that the treat I get because you're going to torture me and leave me dead?"

"You're just my guest. My… special guest."

"Okay. So, what do you expect from me. I stay in this room and when you want me to earn Claire's money, you come and make me do… whatever you wanna me do?"

"I expect you to just live here, just as if I wasn't there at all. Take it as a vacation. I won't even be here all the time, so feel free to stay naked sometimes. I'll show you the house so you can, you know, walk without help."

So that's what they do. Sebastian shows him all the rooms, letting him in them all so he can know how the furniture is settled. He shows him where things are in the kitchen, apologizing when he realizes that not everything is blind proofed to know what the boxes contain. He even shows the guy his own room.

"If you ever have a nightmare." He says playfully, but there's an uneasy expression on the other's face, so he just drops the subject and they go to the next room.

Sebastian doesn't know what he expected. It's just like he couldn't stand imagine other men watching the dancer undress for them. It felt filthy, and beautiful, gorgeous, perfect Porcelain, whatever his real name was deserved to be worshiped. So he was going to give him as much worshiping as he could for one week.


	6. Getting comfortable

Kurt didn't quite understand his client's motives. He had set only one rule: to keep every doors unlocked, whatever they were doing. Though he had given Kurt the key of the room so he could use it if he really wanted some privacy, just asking for him not to use it too often.

He had used the key, the first day, for half an hour. He had needed to center himself and true to his word, mister Smythe hadn't opened the door with a spare key or even came knocking at the door to tell him to open. Then, Kurt had come out, wearing one of his very tight pants and a nice shirt.

He went straight for the kitchen, trying to spot where the man could be, but there was no noise to help him. He went into cupboards and through the fridge, trying to gather a snack.

"You hungry? Want me to prepare something?" the guy asked from the door, startling Kurt who had been so concentrated on his task that he hadn't heard him coming.

"Oh sorry… I didn't know you were there."

"Don't apologize, I told you to do as if I wasn't even there. So. Sandwiches? Is it fine for you?"

"Uh, yes."

"What do you want in yours? I have turkey, should have a leftover of roast chicken…"

"Just… do it like yours. I mean, if you wanna eat too. Oh fuck, sorry, I didn't mean to assume. Just, don't worry; I'll eat whatever you give me, as long as it's edible."

"You're not safe on that point. My last boyfriend used to tell me some of my dishes were probably used in some countries to torture prisoners." His host said with a tiny laugh.

"Boyfriend? You mean that you weren't always that pathetic creeper that pays boys to live in your insanely huge house."

"It's a long story."

"Oh my… I'm sorry, I overstepped."

"s'fine gorgeous."

Kurt let him work in silence, trying to know by the noises what the guy could be doing the sandwiches with. But so far, except for the fact that he had toasted the bread, nothing was clear to the blind dancer.

"Here." The client said, handing him a plate. "Did you want to watch TV or… Oh no, I didn't… no TV, what was I thinking about."

"I watch TV. Well, not _watch_ it, obviously, but you know… I used to watch Project Runway but since… yeah, just say I don't watch it anymore."

"Okay. Do you want me to switch it on? What channel do you want to watch? I was going to read in my room for a while anyway."

"Just switch it on; I'll listen to anything that's on." Kurt answered shyly.

The guy did and then made a show of going somewhere else in the house. But while he was carefully eating his sandwich, Kurt could feel that he was still in the room, watching him. He heard him sliding the zipper of his jeans and the tiny gasp of relief. The TV sound was covering those little noises, but for some reason, Kurt was only focused on the creeper that was now slowly jerking off. And fuck if that wasn't turning him on to know that the guy thought he was totally oblivious of what was happening; a few steps from him.

Kurt was feeling his own cock hardening and there was no way the guy couldn't see it bulging in his pants. He finished his sandwich and set the plate aside. He didn't know what to do, knowing he was being watched. But then, his arousal became stronger than anything else.

He started stroking himself through his pants, not holding his moans. If the guy was taking pleasure while he was just eating, he should as well use the time to get off himself too. And plus, it was his job to put on a show of it, for once at least he was going to really enjoy it.

When he unzipped his pants and took off his cock, he knew that was it, the guy was coming into his hand. But no way was he going to stop now, he was too far gone and really wanted to come too. He stroked his hard cock in slow, lazy strokes, panting.

"I'd like to blow you." The guy suddenly spoke and Kurt wasn't expecting it but managed somehow to hide his surprise a little. "Would you let me do that, gorgeous?"

"I… I don't really have a choice, do I? With what you paid Claire to have me."

"First, could you please stop reminding me that I had to pay to have you here? And second, I won't do anything to you that you don't want me to. Actually, new rules. First rule; the one rule about the doors remains. Second rule; just pretend I didn't force you into this. Third rule, pretend we're at least friends, kind of sex friends and just tell me if you don't want me to do something if I ask you and ask if you want something, okay?"

"O-kay." Kurt answered, uncertain.

"So…"

"Yes, please, blow me." Kurt cut him. "Just come here and take my big cock into your mouth."

"Wow, you…"

"Oh gosh, sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Do you know how sexy you are, talking dirty?" the guy said suddenly right into Kurt's ear. "I will eat your brain out through your beautiful dick, gorgeous."

And then, Kurt felt a hot breathe against his sensitive cock. A tongue slowly swirled around the head.

"Oh fuuuck." Kurt cried out.

"Like that gorgeous? Like my tongue on your pretty cock?"

"Yesss."

The tongue was slowly sliding all over his cock, driving him crazy. He put a hand on the man's hair.

"Come on, stop being a tease, you bitch. Just suck it already."

"Make me." The guy said him defiantly.

So Kurt grabbed his hair more firmly and shoved his cock in the willing mouth. The guy barely chocked on it in surprise.

"s'what you want S? Me fucking your mouth. Taking it down your throat? Fuck, you feel so good. I'm gonna come right down your throat so you'll have no other choice than swallowing every last drop."

Kurt was gripping tightly his client's hair, fucking his face relentlessly. Any other time, he'd have been ashamed of his behavior and the way he was talking to the man, but it felt so good and besides, his client seemed to enjoy it.

True to his words, he finally stilled deeply in the guy's mouth and came hard, forcing him to swallow it all. Which he did, humming seemingly happily. Kurt lay back on the couch, breathing heavily and released his grip. They stayed silent for a while and then, Kurt spoke uncertainly.

"I… am so sorry. I shouldn't have… Damn, I don't know what's gotten into me…"

"I wanted it. Don't you ever dare to apologize for giving me what I asked for." The guy said, voice hoarse from having his throat fucked the past few minutes.

"I… yeah, right. I had forgotten… I'm… going to take a shower. Unless you want something else from me now."

"No… you can. Go on." The man sounded defeated. "I'll… I don't know. Yes, you can go, gorgeous."

Kurt stood up and walked to his room. Just before the door, he stopped and turned his head.

"It wasn't that bad actually. The sandwich I mean. I never had the idea of toasting the bread for sandwiches, that's pretty good even."

"The only way I found to fool my taste buds a little for not having true good baguette after coming back from France."

Kurt just nodded and went, hearing a deep sigh from his host. The whole situation felt awkward, that's what the dancer wanted to wash off, even more than the remnant of his glorious orgasm. He wished somehow he could have met that man in another life. And more than anything else, he wanted to understand him, understand what it was about him always only jerking off or getting Kurt off but never asking to be touched. That felt weird to him.

Right after his shower he took the book he had taken with him and went to the living room where the guy was, watching TV.

"So hum, France… Is that a safe subject to talk about?" he asked shyly from the door.

"There's not much to tell. My father got a job in Paris when I was a teenager. We stayed there for two years. End of story."

Kurt entered the room and went to seat beside the guy.

"End of story? Are you kidding? You spent two years in France and you don't have more than that to talk about?"

"What do you want me to tell exactly?"

"I don't know. How it is there?"

"Well, they have better bread, pastries to die for. Their cheeses stink, but if you dare to try it, it doesn't taste as bad. Most of the time. They don't celebrate Halloween nor Thanksgiving, which means, there's not really a timeline to start decorate for Christmas. Oh, and it's just so weird to watch movies or series dubbed with French voices."

"I'd love to go there one day." Kurt lets slip gloomily.

"I could take you there next time I… If you'd like I mean. Sorry, I had forgotten. So… what is that?" the guy asked, trying to hide his uneasiness, lightly touching Kurt's hand on his book, for him to know what he was talking about.

"It's a book. You know what a book is S, right?"

"Yeah, sure I know, but how do you read it?"

"With my fingers, they're my eyes now. It's in Braille, look."

Kurt opened his book and turned it to the other man.

"I don't see anything, they're blank pages."

"That's because you don't look with your right eyes." Kurt laughs and takes his hand to make him touch the page. "See?"

"Oh okay. But, how does it make sense?"

"Just like a normal book. You have to learn how to read before. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, right. I'll let you alone."

"You don't have to. You can stay, I don't mind." Kurt simply shrugged.

He felt the couch sink a little more beside him and the sound of the TV lowered a little, so he knew the guy had decided to stay. After that moment, it felt almost comfortable for Kurt to live in this house. Sure, there were still these weird moments, when the guy jerked off when he thought Kurt didn't know he was watching him. As well as those moments when Kurt was given wonderful orgasms by the hands and the mouth of the guy who was supposed to be his client and supposed to take more pleasure out of the situation than giving it.

But all in all, he could almost believe they were like friends and forget he was there because he had to, because he couldn't turn down his boss if she wasn't going to pay him for the work he had already done.


	7. He's something more

Sebastian had thought that he was going to sneak on the guy taking his shower totally naked. That he was going to need to watch him silently while he was changing clothes to take a glimpse of his wonderful pale skin to jerk of. But in the end, he noticed he didn't have to. The graceful way the dancer was eating even when he thought he was alone, his wonderful ass cupped in these tight jeans when he was searching through cupboards in the kitchen, his laugh when something funny happened on TV or in his book were enough to turn Sebastian on.

Just watching his guest reading that book, his long fingers running over the tiny bumps on the paper was the most arousing thing he had ever seen in his entire life. There was no way he could watch that without jerking off, fantasizing about those fingers wrapped around his hard cock instead of his own fingers. Every time, he felt guilty right after but he couldn't help it.

At first, it was only when the dancer didn't know he was around and slowly, just the fact that the guy wasn't going to know what he was doing anyway was enough to get him hard.

He didn't know what was that book that the guy was reading but it was probably some porn or something because he wasn't the only one to get a hard on in these moments. Which was good for him because getting his guest off soothed his guilt feelings a little. He couldn't admit it to the man, but for him it was pleasurable to know he was the one giving pleasure to someone. He'd dream sometime that he could have a boyfriend, just like any other gay man and have sex with him, real full penetrative sex. He had been told it was good, wonderful even. But he'd never get to give that to someone, so he used his hands, his fingers, his mouth and he truly enjoyed it. His cock was staying incredibly soft when he did, but that didn't mean he didn't like it.

But it wasn't enough for the others; he knew it, thanks to Blaine. That was why he could never have a boyfriend, ever. He wasn't enough. So he'd have to pay for poor men who sold their bodies to pay their bills all his life. It hurt more than he could admit, but it wasn't exactly like he had a choice.

It was the fourth day that the dancer was there, Sebastian was in the kitchen preparing some food for them, thinking how domestic it felt when he had so few days left of this life before the guy was going to go home, when his guest appeared at the door.

"Kurt." He simply said in his soft voice.

"What?" Sebastian asked, stopping his knife mid-way.

"My name, it's Kurt." The guy… Kurt said.

"Sebastian." He replied, caught off guard.

"I know."

"How…"

"Your agent just called. The phone didn't ring but he left a message. I'm sorry I heard it, I didn't mean to, I swear."

"No, it's fine. What did he say?"

"Well, he seemed to be mad at you… or me, I'm not totally sure. It seems that someone knows I'm here and told it to the Medias. Now, they all wanna know why you have to pay a prostitute to have sex since all your fans are willing to do the job for free. And they all wanna know who the whore you're hiring is. I suppose I am said whore."

"Those shitty bastards, they have no right to talk about you like that. They don't know you, they can't…"

"Well, that's their main problem at the moment, they want to. Know who I am. Your agent, Nick right? He says he wants to talk with you about what you should say at your next interview. Maybe even schedule an interview earlier. Says he knows what happened since he's married to your driver but that it'd be better if you told a better story. He said he doesn't judge you… or me, waits to know the all true story to decide if he should, but your fans might not be that open minded."

"Okay, I'll call him back."

"I think it's too late. He said that if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, he'd be at your door to talk about it face to face. That… is probably him." Kurt said when the doorbell rang. "I should probably go in my room."

"Only if it makes you uncomfortable to meet him. He's a cool guy you know."

"Sebastian, I know you're here, you didn't call Jeff to pick you up. Open the door. Don't force me to use my spare key." Nick screamed.

"He's under pressure, but I swear he's nice usually. He should hear the true story from you. And… the true story from me. So should you, actually."

"I don't need to hear it, I know it, I live it, remember?"

"Trust me, you don't know it all. Stay. Please. I owe it to you and I'm not sure I can do it twice."

"Sebastian." Nick warned from across the door.

"Oh for God's sake, stop yelling like that." Kurt shot, going straight to the door and opening it. "Did you never come to that house before? It's freaking huge, leave us time to get to the door." He said to a much taken aback Nick and a laughing Jeff.

"I… uh, gorgeous." Nick stammered.

"See babe, I told ya." Jeff said.

"Oh gosh, will you just come in already? Before paparazzi snaps pictures of Kurt."

"Oh, so your name's Kurt?" Jeff asked excitedly, pushing Nick inside and closing the door behind them. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jeff."

"I know you already Jeffrey."

"Nah, you didn't, we hadn't been properly introduced. And call me Jeff, that's how everyone calls me. And this is my beloved husband Nick. Come on, say hi Nick."

"Hi. I'm sorry; I didn't expect you to open the door. Nice to meet you Kurt."

"I'd say nice to meet you too, but I heard your last message…"

"Sorry about that. I wouldn't call you a whore before I know how you've gotten to the point to be paid to be here. That's just… You know, what the press says."

"Yeah, OK, just come in the living room, we'll seat and talk, okay?" Sebastian intervened.

They all went to the living room and sat, Kurt and Sebastian side by side in the couch while Nick sat in a chair with Jeff on his lap.

"So, I don't know yet what story we should tell for the fans, but I'm here to hear the true story first. So, I'm listening to you." Nick finally said softly.

"It's quite short. I'm working as a stripper in a sex shop. Sebastian saw one of my shows, decided I should be the only one he sees strip for him until his next flavor of the week I guess. So he offered an awfully big amount of money to make sure I'd always strip for him. And when he offered an even bigger amount of money to have me here for one week, my boss forced me to accept and here I am."

"I'm sorry if I'm blunt with you Kurt. But from you, what I wanna hear is your side of the story, not Sebastian's, I think that's his story to tell." Nick said kindly but firmly. "I wanna know what happened to you, from the start, which got you here now."

"Okay. I guess it started when I had my accident. When I woke up from a coma after being hit by a drunk driver, Blaine, my… fiancé, was there. But then, when he discovered I was blind and had my legs paralyzed, he started to freak out. And well, at first, I couldn't… That's embarrassing… I couldn't be turned on. I mean, I got excited but uh, little Kurt wouldn't, you know, grow anymore. So Blaine dumped me, said he couldn't be with a guy that couldn't get hard for him."

"That bastard!" Jeff shot.

"Yeah, he reminds me someone actually." Sebastian muttered.

"So I was left alone, blind and paralyzed with basically no money. I couldn't ask help from my father because his tire shop isn't working that well and he's already tight on money. Fortunately, my friend Sam made me live with him and encouraged me for my physical therapy. He was by my side all along. I finally got my legs back thanks to him. But I couldn't find a job anyway, because of my eyes. So I asked Sam about his job. He didn't want me to at first, said me I should have a better future than that with my talent. Maybe that was true before, when I still could sing, but now… Anyway, I ended up in that sex shop, stripping behind a glass for men and women's pleasure, not knowing who was on the other side."

"That's when I saw him first." Sebastian cut.

"My first day was… rough. It's degrading. I know Sam likes doing it, feels flattered to know that people are turned on by his naked body, but I'm not like him. I didn't like that. At the end of the day, my boss asked me in her office, told me that the first client who had seen my show wanted a private show with no glass between us. He had offered lot of money for that, so she didn't left me with a choice, it was either I accepted or she wouldn't have paid me at all for the day I had already worked."

"I'm sorry…" Sebastian started.

"No. Don't, please, just don't. Obviously, I accepted. It went… way differently than what I expected I have to say. But he must have liked it since apparently he offered so much money this time that my boss threatened me again into coming here for a week. So here I am."

"Claire's a total bitch! I'm gonna destroy her business. The money I offered should have gone to you."

"Well, Bastian, not that I judge you, but maybe you're not better. I mean, you offered money to turn a stripper into a personal prostitute against his will. Are you really better than her?" Jeff asked.

"I'm not a prostitute. It doesn't feel like that." Kurt protested

"He pays to have sex with you, excuse me to break it to you sweetheart, but that's called prostitution. You still have all my respect but it's prostitution."

"It's more complicated than that Nick." Kurt said in a little voice.

"No, he's right Kurt. I'm probably worse than her actually."

"Oh, stop the pity party Bastian. Explain us. And Nick, please, listen." Jeff stated.

"Okay. So… I guess my story starts earlier, back in Westerville."

"Wait, you come from Westerville? Like in Westerville Ohio?" Kurt asked.

"Yes we do, all went together in high school why?"

"My… ex fiancé… we met in high school in Lima. He had just transferred from Dalton Academy."

"Then my story might start earlier but it probably started with the same guy. What I'm going to tell you guys is a secret I hide since years. So, back in high school, all the boys were talking about sex, most of them had already had sex and I hadn't even jerked off. I knew that my dick was supposed to fill with blood, get hard and bigger, because of what the guys told and biology classes. But it never happened to me. I tried watching porn. Straight porn, gay porn. Nothing was working. I met Blaine. I fell in love with him. But when he discovered my secret, he didn't believe that was not because I didn't love him. He said that if I loved him enough, I'd get hard for him and he dumped me. I was devastated."

"He was my friend back then but I swear if I see him again, it won't be pretty at all." Jeff got mad.

"So you've never have an erection?" Nick asked softly.

"After Blaine, I went to Scandals. A lot. Ended wasted most of the time because I was never going to have a boyfriend and satisfy him. One night, I went to the restroom. A guy came in the stall beside mine to jerk off. I saw him by a hole in the wall. He wasn't aware I was there, watching him. And well, I started to feel tighter and tighter in my pants. I didn't realize straight away but then… I took my cock out and was given my very first orgasm. I thought it was like Blaine had told, that I didn't really love him and that that guy was it for me. I asked him out and he accepted."

"Was it David? I never understood what went wrong between you two. Did he cheat on you with that British guy he's dating now?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, David Karofsky. I really did love the guy, sincerely."

"Wait? You dated David Karofsky? How much your story is linked to mine exactly? How many time could have we met before that entire story got that creepy?"

"You know him?"

"We went in high school together. He was bullying me…"

"David? No way, the guy's a softy." Jeff said.

"Yes, he is. Now that he has accepted he's gay. Back then, I was what he was afraid to be. He apologized though. We're friends now. And I'm sorry Sebastian because… I dated Adam for a while after I first broke up with Blaine and before we got back together. That's how he met Dave."

"Not your fault. David was perfect, he never cheated. I'm the one who's just a fucked up. You'd think that after that night in the restroom, I'd have… like… fucked as a rabbit to make up for the nineteen years before but… well, it didn't happen quite like that. I really loved him but I never got an erection with him again. So, when I got it, understood that I was never going to be enough for him, I…" Sebastian started crying, tried to take a deep breath to keep going. "I set him free. He deserved it."

"You… you stayed together a little more than a year…" Jeff wondered. "And all that time, you've never have sex together."

"It's not exactly… Oh damn. Unlike me, he has a normally functioning body if that's your question, so obviously he had very normal reactions. We've have sex. Kind of at least. I mean, you know hand-jobs, blow-jobs, fingering. You know, what you can do when one is hard and the other isn't. No, I'm stupid, you couldn't know."

"We do. I mean… Yeah, since you've both shared some very intimate things with us… It happens sometimes." Nick said flushing red. "Not most of the time but… yes."

"I obviously know too, right after the accident, before he… before he left me."

"Can we at least stop talking about that asshole? Because I'm so close to want to track him down and let him know how much I despise him now." Jeff shot.

"And so… didn't he like it? Were you so bad at that?" Nick asked. "I mean, why leave him otherwise?"

"He never complained about it. But he was going to want more and I was never going to be able to give him more."

"Did he tell you that? Did you talk with him about that?" Kurt asked softly.

"There was nothing that could be told that would change the situation."

"You say he deserved you to set him free, I say he deserved a chance to maybe let you know that he was totally fine with what was going on between you." Kurt said a little more firmly.

"Maybe, but, it's too late. He's got Adam now and they're doing a perfect couple."

"You were broken Sebastian. I remember it. You were so depressed after your break up. I had never seen you like that, even after… well, you know, back in high school." Nick said, carefully avoiding saying Blaine's name. "You were a mess; the only thing that was a little better than your first break up was that instead of drinking your ass off, you drenched yourself in work. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"Because I loved him and sometimes, all you want for people you love is to be happy, even if it's not with you. And anyway, the truth is I'm a pervert and I'm so sorry Kurt for how much you paid _my_ perversion. Turns out that… I'm a… I'm a voyeur. That day at Scandals… could have been anyone else than Dave. It wasn't him that turned me on that much, it was to watch him when he didn't know I was there. I figured out when a colleague first made me go to that sex shop. I've tried sometimes to ask for one of them to be… you know, there, with me, see if I could… but it never happened."

"Until me." Kurt said quietly.

"Yes, until you. I'm so, so sorry Kurt. I used you. You're right; I'm the worst man on earth. I'm worse than Claire in the end."

"No. I don't think you are. You're struggling with a different kind of sexuality. Like generations of gays before us did."

"I've fucking jerked off watching you eating a sandwich or reading because you didn't know I was there. How can you compare…"

"I knew, Sebastian." Kurt cut him. "Look, I'm blind, right, but I have ears, I have a nose. Because I don't see any more, all my other senses have improved. I heard you. You know what; we should probably never have had this conversation. Now that you know I know… How is it going to work? You know what? If you're a pervert, I am too. If you didn't notice, every single time you've been jerking a few feet from me, thinking I didn't know… it fucking got me as hard as a rock. Every. Single. Time. And sincerely, did I ever wonder why you did that? Why you never asked me to… do it for you even though you had paid so much? Yes, sure, I did. But never once, with what you did to me then I've thought you were not enough."

"You'd have. After a while. I mean, if we had been in a true relationship, eventually you'd have…"

"Fuck, Sebastian, will you shut up?" Kurt cut him, standing. "I am not Blaine. Neither was Dave. Because one guy, one fucked up guy decided you weren't enough for him, doesn't mean you're not enough for anyone. It's been only three days. Already three days. As little as you let me see of you, made me wish we could have met on another way. I wish I could have more time to get to know you, the real you that is still underneath. And yes, as fucked up as you think it is, more time for sex. Not regular boring missionary penetrative sex. Sex with you, just like the past three days. I feel bad right after, not because you're not enough, because I know after that week, I won't have it any more. I'm sorry guys, I just basically thrown my sex life to you but…. Uch, I'm getting so frustrated. I'll be in my room. Door unlocked. If you ever stop being stupid and want to _talk_ about it."

With these words, Kurt ran off to his room, closing the door behind him.

"Oh, wow, that was…" Jeff started.

"I swear Sebastian Oliver Smythe, you better fix this. I don't know what you did to him, or do I know too much? Anyway, whatever you did in three days made him want you. All of you. And if I know you, which I like to think I do, you want him too. You have literally hearts in your eyes when you look at him."

"It's been only three days."

"So what? You intend to let happiness pass a second time because it came to you too fast. Are you totally out of your mind?"

"But…"

"Ya know what babe? You two have to talk about that interview. Just do that. Maybe… time to try and take a bold move for once. I'll go talk to Kurt, okay?" Jeff said.

"What will you tell him?" Sebastian asked worriedly.

"Don't sweat lover boy. I'll say nothing about you. The guy just unfolded his heart to you, handed it to you and you just stayed there, not even moving. I just won't let him deal with that alone, okay?"

"Did I tell you I love you today?" Nick asked.

"Probably about a hundred times, but don't ever stop." Jeff said kissing Nick. "And by the way, I love you too." He said over his shoulder before going to Kurt.

"Okay, so, about work now… You could deny the all thing, tell it's just a rumor. But you know how rumors are, true or not, the more you deny, the more it spreads so I don't think you should. We could try and find a cover story, you know, try and cover what people could find creepy or whatever, like, you know, just giving them a 'cleaner' story for you. That, it's a charity or whatever."

"No way. I can't do that to him, it'd seem cleaner for me but he'd still be a whore I saved. No. Don't make me Nick. I won't."

"Which is good since I hoped that reaction from you. Well, leaves us two choices. Letting scandal go, it did good to more careers than we all think. But yet again, still not what we'll do, right?"

"Not even in your wildest dreams."

"Nightmares you mean."

"So, what is our last option? You'd better have something in your bag that I can actually use."

"I think I have. As my love said, time to take a bald move in your career. It's called the truth. Well, part of the truth. I feel really honored that you felt comfortable enough with us to share all of this, but I don't think you want to share so many details publicly. Hell, I don't wanna hear so many details again."

"So… what part of the truth should I tell exactly?"

"Hopefully, that love can be found in many different places. Which means you have to talk with Kurt like right when this conversation is finished. I managed to get you a spot in Ellen's show tomorrow night."

"You what?"

"Yes, I'm that awesome. Don't mention it. Whatever we were going to do, we had to do it fast. But you have to know what he'll let you tell about him."

"Yeah. You're right. As always. Hiring you was the best idea of my life, wasn't it?"

"It was. Until Kurt. Now go get him. Trust a guy who's deeply in love with his best friend since second year of college, love isn't easy, some days, you'll just want to tell him to leave you alone. But most of the time, it's just wonderful. Don't be afraid of rollercoaster Sebastian, they never get you lower than the ground and they can get you much higher than the strongest of drugs. Let him in, that's all he asks from you."


	8. Flying away

Kurt slammed the door of the room behind and fell face first on the bed. He had been through so much different emotions the past few days, he felt drained. He just had totally fooled himself with Sebastian right in front of his two best friends. The situation couldn't be worse. He was hearing their voices in the living room, though he couldn't make out what was said exactly. Nick sounded pissed off and Sebastian wasn't saying much.

He just started crying in the pillow, closing off the voices from the living room. Quickly, there was light knock at the door.

"You're in your house Sebastian, you hired me to be here and do whatever you want with me, there's no need to knock the door." Kurt shot.

"It's Jeff. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, whatever." Kurt snapped, not bothering to try and hide that he was crying.

Jeff cautiously entered the room and closed quietly the door behind him.

"Kurt, are you okay?"

"What do you think? Do I seem to be okay to you?"

"No, you're right that was a stupid question. Can I do something to make you feel better?"

"What could you possibly do to make me forget that I just… Ugh, what did I even just do?"

"I could… bring you a hot chocolate with marshmallows. That's what Violet wants when she's upset."

"Who's Violet?" Kurt asked, not even questioning the comforting technique.

"It's our daughter. Well, not yet, we're adopting her. But we went to see her at the orphanage a lots of times. She's five. Her mom used to give her that when something bad happened to her. Wanna see her? Look." Jeff said, taking his wallet in his pocket to take a picture in it.

Kurt sat back against the headboard with a tiny laugh.

"I'd love to see her, Jeff."

"Oh no… How can I be so stupid? I had forgotten."

"It's fine. You know, most of people, when they know I'm blind they get all cautious around me. They make sure to make very loud noises so I can know they are here, they warn me if they are going to touch me and they try very hard not to use the expression 'you see' even if it just means 'you understand'. You see what I mean?"

They both laughed at Kurt good word, Kurt wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"It's tiring actually you know. I'm blind, okay, but I'm not deaf, I don't need them to warn me with a drum kit. I can feel their hand coming to me if it's not too quick, I don't need a warning on my voicemail."

"Okay, got the message, no more apologizing when I forget and offer to show you pictures of my little girl. Can I have your phone number to leave you a message on your voicemail? Because I'm going to hug you right now." Jeff said, already sliding his arms around Kurt who hugged back with a wet laugh.

"Could you… I know you're Sebastian's driver and his friend too but, could you maybe drive me back home? I don't wanna stay here after… you know, what I said to him."

"I'm his friend, doesn't mean I agree with everything he's doing. I can drive you back but, would you at least consider, maybe leaving him some time to talk with you? He's said a lot about him too."

"I can't. I know I should but… I just can't. I will probably never be paid for my day of work at the sex shop since Sebastian will complain to Claire that I didn't stay the whole week he paid but… I can't. I'll find another way, but I just can't stay here. I can't keep going like this, it's driving me crazy to count the time before it's just over."

"Okay. I get it. I'll drive you back. Know what? We could drop by the orphanage, so you could see Violet. What do you think about it?"

"I don't know, she should probably not meet me since she'll never see me again."

"Are you kidding? We're adopting her; she'll be with us for years so when you and Sebastian have figured things out, you'll be to see her a lot."

"There's nothing to figure out. It's over. Whatever it was is over, I'm done, I leave."

"Well maybe, but you're still friends with David and Adam right? So there are big chances for her to see you again."

"Okay, fine. Let me just pack my bag." Kurt answered, getting up.

"Hey Kurt. For the record, I don't think things are as bad as you think."

"If you say so." Kurt muttered, packing the last of his clothes. He opened the door of the room to be greeted by Sebastian's voice.

"Wh… What are you doing?"

"Going home. I can't stay here, not now."

"Kurt…" Sebastian tried weakly.

"Please. Let me go. Tell Claire you won't pay because I left earlier but let me go."

"I… sure. But how will you…"

"Jeff will drive me. If it's okay with you."

"Yes, sure, it's okay."

"Bye, Sebastian." Kurt muttered before starting towards the front door.

"When will I see you again?" Sebastian shot from his spot right before Kurt's room's door.

"I don't know." Kurt sighed.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Goodbye Kurt."

Jeff guided Kurt to the car and took his bag to the trunk.

"Thank you very much Jeff."

"Don't mention it. Plus, you give me an excuse to have an extra meeting with my little girl, trust me, that's more than a payment."

"Shouldn't you ask Nick if it's okay if we go without him?"

"I did. See, you might not be deaf, but I can be very quick and discreet. He's okay with it."

"Oh, okay."

The drive to the orphanage was spent in a comfortable silence. Then Jeff lead Kurt to the front door and they were greeted by a bubbly woman that reminded Kurt of a slightly smarter Brittany. He could see how a woman like that would be good at a job with hurt children.

"Hi Mary. I know I wasn't supposed to be here today but do you think I could see Violet just for a minute anyway?"

"Hi Jeffrey. And… you're not Nick. What happened to Nick?"

"Oh yes, sorry, Nick is fine really, he had to work. I wasn't going to come either really, but this is our friend Kurt. Well, I know we're not supposed to bring friends before the adoption is finalized but, he's blind, so he couldn't see the pictures. Could we make just a little exception? I swear, he'll come only once but I'd really like for him to see my beautiful girl."

"Hi Kurt, nice to meet you. She asked for you today actually. She missed her mum. I think she'll be happy to see you. And since you're to come pick her up in a week, I'll make that exception. Come, she's in the playroom." Mary told them.

Just had them entered the room, there was a little happy cry from the other side of the room and little quick footsteps coming to them.

"Jeffy." The little girl screamed happily while the man picked her up.

"Hey peanut. How are you today? A little bird told me you were upset?"

"A little. I miss mummy and they said you weren't going to come see me today."

"Oh, I know it's hard. But I promise, we'll come to bring you back home very soon. Is it good?"

"Very good." Violet answered happily.

"Did they make you your hot chocolate with marshmallows?"

"Yes, Mary made it. It's almost as good as mum's. Where is Nicky?"

"Nick had to work today. But we felt that you weren't feeling good today, so I came. And I took a friend with me. Wanna meet him?"

"Yes." The little girl squeaked, happily clapping her hands.

"Okay, so here's our friend Kurt, Kurt this is our little flower."

"Hi Violet."

"Hi Kurt. You have beautiful hair."

"Oh thank you. You're adorable."

"Do you like my dress? I chose it myself today."

"It's a beautiful dress peanut," Jeff praised.

"Do you like it Kurt?"

"I don't… know." Kurt answered awkwardly.

"He can't see it peanut, he's blind. That's why he's here today, because he couldn't see the pictures of you. It's just as if he had his eyes closed all the time."

"Oh okay, but touch it." Violet said, taking Kurt's hand to make him touch the fabric at the hem of her dress. "See? It's really soft, don't you think?"

"You're right, it's a beautiful dress. It's soft just like your voice."

"You are a wonderful little girl. I love you peanut. And Nicky loves you just as much, you know that right? He was sad he couldn't come today and he's impatient for the day we're finally bringing you home."

"My mummy and my daddy died. That means I'll never see them again." Violet explained to Kurt. "I was super sad, I cried for days when Mary took me here. But now, I have Jeffy and Nicky, they said they're going to be my daddies so it's okay."

"I'm sure you miss your mummy and daddy very much, but I know Nick and Jeff will take good care of you."

"Okay. Kurt and I have to go now, peanut. But I see you very soon with Nick okay?"

"Okay." Violet pouted.

"Hey, next time we come, you need to have your bag ready. Next time we take you home."

"For how long?"

"For ever. Love you okay?" Jeff said, setting Violet back on the floor.

"Love you too. Goodbye Jeffy, goodbye Kurt."

"Goodbye Violet."

They said their goodbyes to Mary and went back to the car.

"How long have you known her exactly?" Kurt asked.

"About three months now, why?"

"And you already exchange I love yous?"

"What can I say; it was love at first sight. How can you not love my Violet right away?"

"I don't know." Kurt answered somberly.

"That's because you can't. She's that awesome. That's my little girl." Jeff stated proudly.

"You guys will make a lovely happy family."

"Only if you come see us regularly. We'd miss you too much otherwise."

"You've barely known me a few hours."

"Ah, yeah, but you're awesome too, deal with it Kurtie."

Kurt snorted but didn't answer to that. After Jeff had stopped the car in front of his building, he went to the apartment and closed himself in his room, not answering Sam that was asking him why he was there earlier than he was supposed to and what had happened.


	9. Ellen

Sebastian was freaking out backstage. That was it, his last chance to maybe open his heart to Kurt. It was probably not even what was going to happen. Kurt just wasn't going to watch the show. He was simply never going to know. He had messed up, he was just never going to be happy.

"Stop the pity party, I can hear you think. Just go there, let Ellen do her job like she knows to. You'll be just fine. You're enough, he told you so right? Let him know he's more than enough for you. He'll watch, everybody likes Ellen!" Nick told him.

"Tonight, change in the schedule. My apologize to Lady Gaga's fans, she won't be there because of a little plumbing problem if you see what I mean. Instead I got lucky enough to have a last minute addition. His first interview to promote his movie to be released next month was supposed to be next week with my friend Conan. He made me the huge honor to accept my last second invitation for a very special interview. Please, a standing ovation for one of my favorite actors at the moment, the greatly talented and very single, girls, Sebastian Smythe."

Nick pushed Sebastian to the set and the actor tried to smile as best as he could. But his heart wasn't in it. He waved at the public mechanically, let Ellen hug him and seated swiftly.

"Hi Sebastian. Are you okay? You seem a little pale. Do you want a glass of water?"

"Hi. No, I'm… Okay, I'm not exactly fine, but I'm the only one to blame for that. I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I'll have to live with it. So, let's say, yeah, I'm okay."

"Is that related in any way to the stripper the rumor says you hired for two million dollars for a week as a prostitute."

"It is totally related."

"Two million dollars, wow, that's a lot. Anyone could have told it was a mistake."

"Oh trust me; that man worth a lot more than two million dollars. He worth more than I could ever afford in ten lifetimes. That man is worth the universe."

"That's a lot to say about a prostitute. No?"

"What the rumor says about what I did is very true. I went to that sex shop, many times, just like a lot of men and women do nowadays, I set my eyes on that man and was so pulled to him that I had to ensure I could have him for myself for at least a week. That is totally true. And, yeah, I offered a big amount of money to his boss to have him. But what the rumor says about him is so, so far from the truth."

"Care to tell us the truth then?"

"I don't want to tell everything about him. I wanted to ask him what I could tell and what I couldn't but the biggest part of my mistake isn't even actually to have tried to buy him as a simple object, it's that I haven't said him early enough that he had taken a bigger place in my life."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… He's not a prostitute, never has been and, if I have my word, never will be. True that I met him in this sex shop he's working in, but he's not a whore like disgusting so told journalists stated. That are details I won't tell about him, he didn't become a stripper by choice but out of necessity. And even if it had been a choice, could you please explain me how a stripper is considered as a whore when those who pay them are never judged?"

"I can't. Seriously, I've never understood that. But you said he's taken a bigger place in your life."

"Yes, he did. Yesterday he told me very true things about myself and left my house. He left with my only chance to make that house a home. He stayed three days only, but except for the fact that I wish deeply I could have meet him somewhere else and properly seduced him, these three days have been the happiest I've been given since I broke up with my last boyfriend when I was in my first year at college."

"Is he watching us?"

"I don't know. He left before my manager told me he had scheduled that interview. He doesn't know I'm here."

"Alright, imagine he's listening, what would you want to tell to… what's his name?"

"I won't tell his name."

"Okay. Just look right at that camera, right into his eyes and say what you want him to know."

"Gorgeous, I hate that you left so fast not leaving me time to talk to you, because I didn't want to tell that much to you publicly. You were right, everything you told me… No one ever has seen me as well as you did, you've seen what I thought I had hidden so well. Please give me just one hour of your time, no money just one hour you and me, the true me. Just one hour so I can just give you back what you gave me yesterday. After that, if you never want to see me again, I swear, you'll never see me again. Please, just one last time. I owe it to you to tell you exactly what I feel about you. Please." Sebastian said almost in one breathe right to the camera and then turned back to Ellen.

"Whoever you are, if you heard that and don't come back to that man right now, I think you're crazy. Sebastian, thank you for that very moving…"

"Actually… Can I say something to someone else?"

"Uh… yeah, sure, go ahead."

"If you watch, you'll know I'm talking about you. What you've done to me is one thing, but I can't stand what you did to him. Doesn't matter in the end, he deserves way much better than us both united, so you did him a huge favor by leaving him. Just know that I better never see you again."

"That… seems to be someone I don't wanna meet. Unlike your new… friend. Hopefully next boyfriend."

"If he'll have me, that's a choice I can't make for him."

"Well, I really like you, even more than I did before that interview. And if only half of what you said about him is true, he seems to be a wonderful man. I sincerely hope you'll both find happiness. If it's together, then Mazel Tov. Please, invite me to the wedding if there's one."

"Will do. Thank you for having me tonight."

"Thank you for having filled the spot at the last minute."

"Since it's truth day, let's not pretend that Lady Gaga actually was sick today. We both now my agent pulled his strings so I could be here instead. Lady Gaga, girl, I owe you a big favor."

"I think you owe her to introduce him to her at least."

"Actually, I don't know him that much, obviously since it has been just three days, but I have a feeling he'd love that and that we'd owe her a little more."

"Well, thank you for that very emotional interview. I'll release you now, you have a house to go to wait for the man of your dreams to show up."

"Yes, I do right? Thanks again Ellen."

"No problem. I hope to see you again here soon to really talk about one of your movies."

Sebastian hugged Ellen and went back backstage. He went straight to Nick.

"I have to call Dave. He deserves that long overdue explanation. It won't bring us back together, he'll still have Adam and I'll still be the bastard who let Kurt go, but he deserves it."

"That's my man. But you're still too harsh with yourself. You're not as bad as you think in that thing." Nick said before they left the studio.


	10. Let's try it

"Kurt, you _have_ to see last Ellen's show. Seriously, you have to." Sam said to his roommate through the door of his room.

Kurt had locked himself in his room as soon as he had came back to their shared apartment and had stayed there since then.

"Leave me alone." He groaned from his bed.

"Not a single chance man. You really have to see it. Come on, open the door."

"I don't want to. Just leave me."

"Look, I don't know what happened since you won't even talk to me, or even hang out silently with me on the couch watching Ellen, but I can't let you stay in that room until death. Open the door."

"Fuck off Sam. Is it so complicated to understand that I wanna be left alone?"

"Nah, that's not. I understood you very well man. Doesn't mean I will let you. You do know that I can open your door if I really want to, right? Come on, that's your last chance, open that door and come see Ellen. Or I'll open the door and just carry you to the living room to watch Ellen."

"Oh gosh Sam, what can be so important about Ellen that you want me to see it that much? Did she change her hair cut? Because I wouldn't know even if I watched the show."

"So… you'd miss on Lady Gaga? I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"Yeah, that's right you don't. I fucking don't care about Lady Gaga right now. I just wanna bath in my embarrassment and die there."

"There were some weird noises at his door and then it was open and Sam was lifting him over his shoulder to carry him to the living room as if he wasn't heavier than a leaf.

"Sam, stop that! Let me down! Stop it right now."

"I left you enough chances and you wouldn't listen. Now I don't leave you a choice. Told you, you have to watch that show."

Sam turned the TV on and settled the DVR on the show he had recorded. Kurt had never fully understood what about Ellen made Sam be such a fan of the woman, but turned out he'd never missed one of her show and since he was working at the time of the last show, he had recorded it, as usual.

"Okay, if I promise to stay for five minutes, will you at least let me seat on the couch?"

"If you insist. But don't betray me Kurt, you promised."

"I did. Put me down now."

Sam let his friend seat on the couch and that's when Kurt heard it. Sebastian's voice. It was kind of different from his voice when you heard it in real life, but it was definitely him.

"Wha…" Kurt started but was cut by Sam.

"Hush, Kurt! Just listen to him."

"Listen to what? To him telling how miserable he feels when he's the one who hurt me?"

"No, listen what he has to say about the rumor, that isn't totally a rumor for what I know, by the way, about you."

"Oh just great, you make me listen him telling a cover story that'll make me the good man of the story."

"Shut up, listen."

Kurt sighed but stopped talking and listened. And well, the more he listened, the more he wanted to maybe leave a chance to Sebastian. Especially when the actor said he had a feeling Kurt would be the one honored to meet Lady Gaga. They had never talked about her and it wasn't as if the stripper had fan pictures of her all over his things.

"I… Sam. Can you drive me somewhere? Like, now?" Kurt asked shyly.

"Freaking finally. I hoped you'd say that. Where's his house." Sam answered, already on his feet, keys of his car in hand.

"Oh… well… I don't know actually. Oh fuck, I don't know at all. I'll never find him back. I've been so stupid." Kurt ranted, tears starting to roll on his cheeks.

"Give me a minute, you won't miss him because of an address." Sam said quickly.

A little research on Internet and a phone call to Nick later, they were in the car heading back to Sebastian's. Sam pulled up in the driveway and stopped the car. They were greeted by Nick who wanted to be sure it was Kurt and not a creepy fan.

"What am I doing here?" Kurt muttered.

"Hopefully, getting your shit and Sebastian's together. He really misses you." Nick answered, showing him the way to the door.

Nick left him there, telling him they were going to get to know Sam with Jeff at their house, so he could have time to really talk with Sebastian, not only yell feelings at him and leave.

When Kurt finally gathered enough courage to ring the bell, he heard slow footsteps on the other side, then the door opened and after barely one second, Kurt ended up with an armful of bouncing Sebastian.

"Oh my god, Kurt, it's you. You came. I'm not dreaming, right, please don't let this be a dream. If it's one, I never wanna wake up." Sebastian ranted, running his hands over Kurt's body as if to make sure that was real.

"You said you wanted just one hour of my time so… here I am." Kurt said shyly.

"Oh. Of course, that's why you're here." Sebastian whispered, pulling back suddenly. "I swear it's the last time you see me, if you want."

"That… that wasn't what I meant."

"Do you want to come in?"

"I'd love for you to let me in Bastian."

Kurt heard Sebastian taking a step back and without a word needing to be told, he entered the house and went to the living room.

"Can I seat?"

"Obviously you can gorgeous."

"I kinda like it when you call me that." Kurt said, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah? Well, it defines you really well." Sebastian said, sitting beside him, one hand lingering lightly on one of his knees.

"So… I guess it's my turn to hear you yell at me what you have to tell me."

"I don't want to yell at you. I… You should know that I called David yesterday."

"Oh, you did?"Kurt asked with a hint of disappointment.

"Yes, I did. They'll come here next Saturday. I feel like I need to… you know, get things clean with him. Let him know that I've truly loved him and that I had reasons to break up with him that weren't exactly good reasons."

"That's why you put that show on TV to get me to come to you? To tell me that you're trying to get back with him? Seriously, you're really that cruel?"

"No, no, no, Kurt, you didn't understand it right. I'm not trying to get back with him. He's with Adam and I sincerely think they're right for each others. I don't want to break them up, not only because of Adam, but that's another question. I just want… I don't know, be able to be really friend with him, with no more lies, just honesty. So, I think he deserves to know the truth about what I felt at that time."

"Great. It's fantastic for you two. But I still don't get why you wanted to tell all that to me."

"You really don't get it Kurt? I've made many mistakes in my life, I've met many assholes and I'm not talking about a body part here. I can't go back and fix it but it's fine, I don't want to. Because this, entire life I've had to live, it lead me to you Kurt. I can't have Dave back; I couldn't even if I wanted to. But I really hope I can have you, maybe."

"You know my price; you could have talked about it with Claire." Kurt said sharply.

"Kurt, please, don't. I know what I've done to you is horrible; you're not a thing that I can buy. I've been selfish, but I don't want to be anymore. I wish you'd accept to move in with me, yeah. But I don't want you to be there because I paid and you desperately need the money. I want you to be here only if you want to. I want us to have sex only if you want to, not because you think it was included in the contract. Look, I can't say that I love you, because, three days seem a little short for such feelings, but I really do care about you."

"Sex? I know you'll never be able to have an orgasm with me anymore, since you know… Why would you want to keep have sex when I'd be the only one to enjoy it."

"I enjoy it. I don't need to get hard to have pleasure. Sure, it's a different kind of pleasure, but it's there. Watching you falling apart and knowing I'm the one who did that to you, trust me Kurt, I really enjoy it."

"Yeah?" Kurt said with a large smile, suddenly straddling Sebastian, one hand on each side of the other man's head on the couch. "You should get ready, because I'm gonna kiss you, in like five seconds… four… three… two… one…"

Kurt leaned slowly to Sebastian, a thumb rubbing slightly his cheek, while he was counting backward. When reached one, he was few millimeters from Sebastian's mouth. The man hadn't moved at all, probably just had just slightly parted his lips; if the hot breathe on Kurt's skin was anything to go by. But aside from that, he wasn't moving at all, just as if he had not a single doubt in the world that Kurt didn't need to see him to find his mouth.

Kurt connected their lips slowly, tenderly even. He slipped tentatively his tongue across Sebastian's lips and felt him open his mouth a little more. He took that as an invitation and slid his tongue inside. Their tongues met and danced together sensually. Kurt felt his cock slowly hardening through the kiss, tried to keep his hips back so Sebastian couldn't feel it.

But then, the actor wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. There were two matching groans when Kurt felt his erection firmly rubbing against Sebastian's stomach and their lips parted, with heavy breaths, foreheads connected.

"Does that mean you're willing to try this? To try… us?" Sebastian asked, unsure.

"Yes. Yes, I want to try it. Did you mean it, that I worth lot more than what money you offered to Claire?"

"I meant it. You're so beautiful Kurt. Not only physically, that will fade with years, but you've got the best heart and that, that won't go away. I'm sorry, about the money, I really am; that was a bad thing to do. But I can't feel totally guilty about it, because I got to know you…"

"Shhh, let's forget that part okay? Let's just… start over. No more lies or pretence. Hi, my name is Kurt, I'm twenty seven, I just quit my last job so I don't really know what I'm going to do now or how I'm going to pay my rent, I'm blind since I've had an accident three years ago. And, if that wasn't obvious to you, I really, really want you." Kurt said, rolling his hips just once to rub his hard cock against Sebastian's stomach to emphasize.

"Oh. Hi, I'm Sebastian, I'm twenty six. I'm an actor maybe you've seen me in some romantic comedies. I could talk about you to my agent, I'm sure you're good actor material and as for your rent, I have a spare bedroom I'd happily let you use if you wanted. And I know it might not be obvious to you, but I really, really want you too."

"Bedroom?" Kurt asked breathily.

"Hell yes! Yours or mine?"

"Yours… If that's okay with you?"

Sebastian didn't answer, just slipped his hands under Kurt's thighs and stood up to take the man to his room. Kurt clung into him, arms and legs folded around Sebastian's body, his dick getting delicious frictions on each steps. The actor pressed Kurt's back against the wall and kissed him again. That time, it was more passionate, filthier. Teeth clicking, tongues going crazy and saliva dripping on their chins. Kurt loved it, loved the way Sebastian knew exactly what to do to make him feel so good.

"You drive me crazy, Sebastian." Kurt whispered between two kisses.

"Yeah? Good then."

"Can we… clothes off, please?" Kurt stuttered.

In no time, Sebastian had let him down and was stripping him of his clothes. That was so different from before, when Kurt would strip himself, so much more intimate.

"Here you are, gorgeous." Sebastian murmured against the pale skin when Kurt was finally totally naked.

Sebastian pressed their bodies together, he was still fully clothed and that just felt wrong.

"Yours need to go off to. I want to touch you. I want to feel your skin. Please, let me."

Sebastian just nodded in agreement against Kurt's shoulder. That simple gesture set fire in Kurt's body. He loved that Sebastian didn't seem to be embarrassed in the slight less with him being blind. The guy never thought twice when he'd use words like 'see' or 'watch' around him, and now he apparently also knew that Kurt would see that gesture with his 'other eyes'.

So Kurt slowly took Sebastian clothes off, taking time to explore the warm skin with his hands and mouth and tongue.

"Do you trust me Bastian?"

"Yes I trust you."

"Would you lay back on the bed for me?"

"Only if you'll lay with me gorgeous."

"I will. Just lay and let me work okay?"

"Okay."

They lay together on the bed, Kurt on top of Sebastian pressed against him chest to hips, legs entangled together. Sebastian's cock is soft against Kurt's hard one, and that's new to him, he's used to rub against hard dicks. But that feels really good. He rolls his hips slowly against Sebastian, the head of his cock slipping from floppy skin to firm abs.

At first, Sebastian didn't move at all, taking whatever Kurt gave him. But slowly, he started moving in sync with Kurt, let his hands rub over Kurt's back. Kurt gave sloppy kisses on his lover's neck, reveling in the pleased noises that escaped the other man's throat. His cock was dripping pre-cum all over their stomachs.

One of Sebastian hands was in his neck, keeping his head where it was. Kurt didn't know where his other hand was until he heard a drawer opening, quickly followed by the sound of a bottle being uncapped. A few seconds later, a cold, wet, tentative finger was gently stroking his entrance.

"Oh, Dear Gaga, babe, what you're doing to me." Kurt cried out.

"Is that okay?"

"S'not okay Bastian, s'better than okay."

"You like that gorgeous."

"I fucking love it, don't stop. I'm so close. Gonna spread my cum all over your abs. Fuck, yes. You're so good Bastian. So, so good. I wanna stay in bed with you for days, and get you all covered in my cum, not leaving a single inch of your skin clean. I wanna fuck your mouth and feed you with my semen right down your throat."

Sebastian was shuddering under Kurt's body, humming happily at his words.

"Oh fuck, Bastian, gonna come. Don't stop, please don't stop. Oh yes, make me cum, make me…"

Kurt stopped mid sentence to cry out while his cock spurted strings and strings of cum. That felt just right, just perfect. He felt like he was going to come so long that he was gonna die. And that'd be just the best way to die.

He flopped down limp against Sebastian's chest, not caring about the mess between them, sleepily drawing patterns with his fingertips on his lover's side.

"I don't wanna move, too tired, you're just too comfortable." He mumbled.

Sebastian let out a laugh that vibrated through their bodies.

"How do you even manage to be a filthy lover one second and that damn adorable the next one?"

"I don't know. I think you're doing that to me."

"Good thing then because I love that about you."

"I don't wanna move in your spare bedroom."

"No? Why not?" Sebastian asked, disappointment evident in his voice.

"Because I don't wanna be a guest, I wanna live here with you as your… boyfriend maybe?"

"Boyfriend. I can live with it."

"Boyfriends don't sleep in separate rooms when they live together, right?"

"Not if I'm one of them. My bed is big enough to fit you in."

"Cool." Kurt said, repressing a yawn.

"You're tired?"

"After mind blowing sex effect." Kurt explain.

"We can take a nap. And then, I plan on making you sleepy again if you don't mind."

Kurt barely heard the end of the sentence, already falling asleep his head pillowed on Sebastian's chest. When he slowly went back to consciousness, a while later, he was in bed, lying on his stomach, that was surprisingly dried-cum-free, totally naked and with no sheets over his body.

But the first thing he registered was Sebastian's low moans while he was kneeled beside Kurt, the wet noises of a lubed hand slowly stroking a hard cock, the short breathes of his boyfriend. He did his best to not give away that he wasn't sleeping anymore, wanting for his brand new boyfriend to have his orgasm too.

"Yes Kurt, so good." Sebastian whispered. "Oh yes please."

"S'bas'ian." Kurt mumbled as he would do in a dreaming sleep.

The stroking noises sped up a bit.

"Oh Kurt, please make me come, I want to come over you."

The pace of Sebastian's hand quickened increasingly and not long after, Kurt felt hot liquid hitting his back when Sebastian was coming, his boyfriend's name on his lips. Kurt heard the heavy pants of the man he was quickly falling in love with.

Long, thin fingers, lightly ran through the mess on his back, tingling. Kurt slowly moved.

"Hello babe." He said softly.

"Oh my God you're awake. I'm… I'm sorry Kurt, I…"

"Sorry about what?" Kurt asked a little worriedly, seating up.

"I just… I… Fuck, why can't I be normal?"

"Hey, come on, what happened?" Kurt asked, kneeling on the bed, facing Sebastian to gently put a hand on his arm.

"I… You were sleeping." Sebastian sighed heavily.

"And?"

"And I watched you sleep, so peaceful and so beautiful. And I jerked off and came over your sleeping body. I…"

"Don't you dare end that sentence Babe. Never even think about apologizing for being turned on by me. I knew what I was getting myself into when I came back. I chose to try it. So…"

Kurt slowly slid his hand to Sebastian's wrist and brought it to his lips. He tentatively licked his fingers that were covered in cum since he had just caressed Kurt's stained back.

"You… are delicious my dear. I don't care what it takes for you to get there. I accepted it. I accept you just as you are or I wouldn't be here." Kurt stated, cleaning Sebastian's fingers with his tongue.

"Yeah, sure, okay. What do you want to do now?"

"First that." Kurt answered before planting a kiss on Sebastian's mouth. "Then take a shower, preferably with you. Maybe grab a snack. Going to Sam's apartment to pick up my stuff and finally coming back home and have a nice evening cuddled together, getting to know each other a little more. Sounds good?"

"No. That sounds perfect."

"I shouldn't say that, probably shouldn't _feel_ that actually, since we don't really know each other, but I love you."

"It scares me that it happened so fast, but I love you too."

"It scares me too. But I wanna take the risk. What about you?"

"I want to take the risk." Sebastian said firmly. "You said home. You said coming back home." He added, smile clear in his voice.

"I did. Is it a problem?"

"Not at all. Having you here, it sure feels like home."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian and pulled him into a tender kiss, smiling widely. And in the kiss, he felt that Sebastian was smiling too.


	11. Epilog

Sebastian had been sent to his room, he was supposed to get himself and his two years old son ready for the barbecue with their friends and Kurt's parents. Instead, he was lying on his bed, still in his sweatpants and light V-neck t-shirt, Thomas laughing widely, straddled on his stomach while he was tickling the sides of the little boy.

"Stop, Papa, Stop." Thomas was crying out to his father, his happy laughs letting know he wasn't really in distress.

One year after they had decided to get together, they had married and soon after had gotten a surrogate that had given them a wonderful baby. Thomas had his Daddy's blue eyes, but according to Kurt, the boy had quickly mimicked Sebastian's intonations. Sebastian had protested that the baby barely babbled, Kurt had answered he babbled just like his Papa. Sebastian found it ridiculous but hadn't argued too much, too happy that Kurt thought their son had picked something from him even though they weren't blood related.

"You two having fun?" Kurt asked from the doorway and Sebastian stopped tickling his son to give his attention to his husband.

"Dadda." Thomas shot, turning his head towards his other father.

Kurt came closer to them and sat on the bed beside them. He slid a hand over Sebastian's side.

"I thought you were supposed to get changed. They'll be here soon."

"Don't worry that much gorgeous. It's just Sam, Niff and Adid. They won't mind."

"Let?" Thomas asked, putting his tiny hands on Sebastian's cheeks with a smile.

"Yes Tommy, Violet is coming." Kurt answered, leaning down to his son to kiss his cheek.

It always stunned Sebastian how his husband never missed the precise points he wanted to reach, with no hesitation.

"Did Papa give you your bath baby boy?"

"Yes. Bueberry." Thomas answered happily.

"He used the blueberry soap? Oh yes, I can smell it." Kurt said burying is nose in his son's hair to breathe the sweet scent.

"Me like bueberry." The little boy squeaked.

"I know you like it monkey, but you remember what you promised, next time we use the coconut one; we have to finish the bottle." Sebastian said to his son watching into his eyes.

"Yes." Thomas wined, scrunching his little nose.

"I know you don't like it, but we need to finish the bottle. We promise, when it's finished Daddy and I will only buy the blueberry one, okay?"

Thomas nodded with wide eyes. Then, the doorbell rang.

"Let, Let, Let." Thomas chanted, jumping slightly on his father's stomach.

"Mph, easy monkey; that hurts."

"Come here baby boy, let's get the door." Kurt said, picking the boy up in his arms to get to open the door.

Sebastian followed them closely and quickly slid his arms around Kurt's waist from behind just as he was opening the door.

"Hello guys." They greeted together when the door opened on Adam and David who was carrying their sleeping seven months old daughter in a baby sling.

"Let." Thomas shot unhappily, seeing that the now nine years old girl wasn't there.

"Hey, Tommy, be nice. Say hi to Adam and David. Violet is coming, I promise, but not yet." Kurt scolded his son, still surprising his husband by knowing who was here while they hadn't even said a word yet.

"Hi." Thomas said, waving his little hand.

"Hi Tommy , hi Kurt, Hi Sebastian." The two men answered happily.

"That's my good boy." Kurt praised.

"So, I guess this is Abbie?" Sebastian asked, pointing the baby in David's arms. "Judging by your faces, I guess she isn't sleeping as well at nights." He added, while they were letting the men in.

"She's showing off here, she never sleeps." Adam answered.

"You want to let her down in Thomas bad for a while?" Kurt asked kindly.

"No way! She's sleeping, I won't jinx that by trying to move her right now." Dave answered.

"You're spoiling her Dear, she won't learn how to sleep without us if you keep her." Adam tried to argue with his boyfriend.

"I know, and you know I totally agree for nights but she's just so peaceful for once, I don't wanna let her now."

"Ah, one of us has to be the mother hen I guess." Adam said, trying for irritated, but ending with lovingly instead.

I'm going to wait for the others outside, so they won't ring the bell and wake her up. What do you say monkey, wanna come with Papa to wait for Violet?"

"Papa." Thomas answered holding out his arms to Sebastian.

"Be straight with me, my husband didn't dress up today?" Sebastian heard Kurt ask while leaving.

"I heard that, gorgeous."

"Didn't try to hide it babe." Kurt shot with a grin.

Sebastian didn't answer to that but was smiling broadly when, just before stepping out of the house, he could hear Adam answer to Kurt.

"Not less than my boyfriend. It's just a barbecue with friends Kurt, don't worry."

David and Adam had never felt the need to get married. They were boyfriends, they were committed to each other and that was enough for them. Even when they had discussed about adopting a baby, they hadn't wanted to take that step. And sure enough, little Abbie had made them a family way better than a piece of paper telling they were together.

He was still smiling to himself when Jeff and Nick, along with Violet, parked the car in the driveway.

"Leeettt!" Thomas let out, clapping his hands in contentment, trying to escape his Papa's arms.

"Hey, hey, keep calm monkey, let them time to arrive okay."

"Hey you two. Have you been kicked off the house already?" Nick asked.

"Hi. No, David and Adam are here, Abbie was asleep for once, didn't want to risk the doorbell to wake her up."

Thomas was squirming into Sebastian's arms, so excited to see his best friend. So, she was seven years older than him, she was his best friend nonetheless. Sebastian released his grip when Violet was finally right before them, already greeting the little boy.

"How are you guys?" Sebastian asked.

"Fantastic, I checked the result of Kurt's last movie before I came, your husband killed it." Nick answered.

"He always does, shouldn't surprise us by now, right."

"I tell him so every time, he never believes me until he sees the results." Jeff intervened.

Right after Kurt and Sebastian had got together, Sebastian had been approached by a scenario in which the character he would play was gay for once. Not related with his story with Kurt, since the beginning of his career he had played straight guys as much as gay guys. When they had looked for an unknown actor to play his love interest, Nick had made Kurt pass the audition as his new client. The character wasn't blind, but since the accident hadn't altered the aspect of his eyes, only their function, he could easily pass for a sighted man.

After that, the two men had been showered with so much scenarios of their own, together or not, that they couldn't say yes to all of them if they wanted to keep time for Thomas.

"Can we go in? I really wanna meet that little gem David gushes about anytime I talk to him on the phone." Nick asked.

"Yes, just be quiet. I believe the little gem isn't that awesome to her parents when it's two in the morning."

"Can I go play in the garden with Tommy?" Violet asked.

"Yes. Papa p'ease." Thomas pleaded to his father.

"Sure. As long as an adult stays with you." Sebastian answered.

"I'll stay with you, just let me time to say hi to everyone, okay?" Jeff said to his daughter.

"Yes Daddy." Violet answered. "You come Tommy?"

Sebastian let his son up on the floor; the little boy grabbed Violet hand and followed her in the house on wobbly legs. Sebastian watched them go, so proud of Thomas progresses. He still remembered the tiny baby in his arms at the hospital the very first day, and now, his son had grown up so much and was learning more and more new things every day.

He was alone, seated on the stairs, thinking back to the last few years since he had met Kurt. He couldn't chase the big smile off of his face, he was just too happy with his life right at this moment. That's when a taxi pulled up in the driveway and Burt came out of it, even before the car was stopped.

"Sebastian, you're alone? Is there something wrong? Did something happen to Kurt or Tom?" the old man asked worriedly.

Sebastian got up and went straight to his father in law to hug him.

"No, they're perfectly fine. I just wait for everyone to be there so they won't have to ring the bell. There's a surprisingly asleep baby in there, her parents hope for her to not wake up too fast."

"Oh, Abbie's here? Come on Burt, I wanna see her finally. Adam can't stop praising about her in his e-mails." Carole said happily, taking her husband's place, hugging Sebastian.

"So, you're sure, they're fine."

"Absolutely. I believe Kurt is just waiting for Abbie to wake up so he can see her properly and by now, your grandson should be playing in the garden with Violet and Jeff."

"Oh, good." Burt breathed in relief. "The kid loves that Violet girl, isn't he?"

"He does. Very much. Sometimes I'm almost jealous of her. You can go in if you want, I'll stay here; we're still waiting for Sam and Drizzle to show up."

"I still can't believe that Kid named his dog after the name Finn wanted to give to his daughter." Carole said fondly.

"About Finn, how is he?"

"Well, Mandy can't move from bed until the babies are born now, so he stayed with her. They were upset they couldn't come today. But they promised they'd come to see you as soon as the twins are old enough to travel."

"Still don't know if they're boys or girls?"

"No, they don't want to know before the birth." Burt said grumpily. "I can't even prepare a room for my grandchildren at home before they're born."

"You could just choose a neutral color. Come on, I want to see the baby." Carole said.

"Go ahead. I'll wait Sam with Sebastian." Burt told her.

"Okay, see you then." Carole answered, already half in the house.

The two men sat side by side on the stairs in silence until Burt broke it.

"I have to thank you kid, you make my son so happy, I hadn't seen him like that since his accident."

"You know Burt, you tell me that anytime you see me." Sebastian answered with a laugh.

"And I intend to thank you for the life and family you gave him anytime I see you until my last day."

"And every time, I'll tell you that there's no need to thank me. He makes me endlessly happy, he gave me a loving family. He's the one that should receive all the thank yous."

"I'm guessing you're just right for each other and you are wonderful parents to my grandchild."

"Would you think of him as you're grandchild if he was biologically mine instead of Kurt's?" Sebastian asked a little worriedly.

"Don't I think about Finn's babies as my grandchildren? No one I'm blood related will even raise them. It's not about blood kid, it's about love. I don't need you to be his biological father to know that you're his father. You take care of him and love him, that's all that matters to me. And that's all that matters to him too."

"Thank you. Thank you for being the best dad Kurt could have had and to be the best granddad I could dream for my son."

"Ah, no need to say it."

"I'll say it as long as you'll thank me for making Kurt happy."

"Fair enough."

It had been an awkward situation to explain Burt how they had met, even leaving the very intimate parts out. It had taken Burt some time to wrap his mind around the fact his son was now with a famous actor that Carole was totally admiring since she had seen one of his movies just a few weeks before. The woman had loved him so much in that movie; she had started to track him and his TV appearances like a teenager. Burt had had no other choice than knowing just who he was when Kurt himself hadn't seen any of Sebastian's movies before they got together.

They had seen the famous interview with Ellen, so when Kurt had showed up to their house with his famous new boyfriend, they had had to explain that Kurt was the stripper. Burt hadn't been happy with Sebastian at first, can't blame him, the guy had paid to use his son. But then, the man had seen how they were happy together and how they had moved past a bad beginning, so he had grown very fond of his son's boyfriend and soon husband.

Sebastian's relations with his own parents weren't that good, so Burt had slowly become like a father to him. He had become the man you can ask for advice when you need one, especially as a young father. They were basically family; no matter how it had started.

Sam finally pulled up in the driveway, almost fell when coming out of his car, and struggled with Drizzle's leash in his haste.

"I'm so sorry, I'm late. I… have been stuck at work yesterday, my alarm clock…" he apologized while making his way to the two men on the stairs, the golden retriever puppy following him.

"It's okay Sam, calm done." Sebastian said, laughing.

"Nobody came to tell us the food was waiting yet, I do believe we were waiting for everyone to be here to start with it actually." Burt added.

Sebastian and Burt hugged Sam in greeting.

"Did I interrupt a heavy father/son in law conversation?"

"Not at all, we were done, plus there's nothing we'd discuss that'd be a big secret, right kid?" Burt said.

"Yep, nothing that I'd have to hide so badly I'd be ashamed if someone heard."

"Come on, let's go inside, I'm sure Violet and Thomas will want to play with Drizzle before the food's ready." Sebastian said. "But try to be quiet, we don't want to wake Abbie up."

"Oh my, that's it, Abbie's first official outing?"

"Absolutely. I didn't see her very well since she was still asleep in the baby sling but she seems adorable."

They all went in, Sam taking Drizzle in his arms to help her up the stairs. He was still single, no more working for Claire since Sebastian had followed suit with what he had said and had destroyed her business, but was still a stripper in a less creepy club now. He didn't really miss a steady girlfriend, maybe because he had simply not met the one for him, he was happy with his life as it was with now the puppy he had adopted almost exactly when David and Adam had adopted Abbie.

The house was bubbly when they came in, Carole was gushing to the baby in her arms that was awake. Adam was hugging his boyfriend from behind reassuring him that their daughter was perfectly safe with someone else than them. Kurt and Nick were getting ready what could be for the lunch.

"Hey, Dad, so good to see you." Kurt said to his father, immediately putting down the plate he had in his hands to hug him.

"How do you even do that?" Burt asked, stunned by how his son was able to know who was where in the house.

"I heard the door and recognized the way you smell."

"Are you saying I'm smelly son?"

"Dad, don't. You know what I was meaning."

"You're right I do. How are you doing?"

"Fine, really, more than that actually. Babe, can you start the barbecue? I think the children will soon moan about being hungry. Sam, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you." Sam answered, Drizzle yapping in his arms.

"Yeah, hello to you too Drizzle." Kurt said, stroking her head.

"Go help Sebastian with the barbecue." Adam whispered to David.

"But…"

"Go, she'll be fine, I promise. You need to let her a little."

David and Sebastian went to the garden where Jeff was playing with the children and a foam ball.

"Hey monkey. You should go in, Grandpa is here and Sam with Drizzle." Sebastian said to his son.

"An'pa. Dizze." The little boy said with a wide smile and ran to the house quickly followed by Violet who wanted to pet Drizzle too.

"Ask Daddy to help you wash your hands, we're eating soon." Sebastian shot to Thomas, not sure he'd heard him but Jeff was following them.

"When you broke up with me, I was devastated, but now, I realize it was for the best eventually. I like our lives as they are now." David said to Sebastian when the barbecue was started.

"I'm sorry I had to hurt you so badly but in the end, I think we both found the right one."

"Exactly. Now, excuse me for a minute, I have to check on my loves."

"Can't stay far for too long right?" Sebastian teased.

"Nah, totally can't. So sue me." Dave answered with a laugh.

Sebastian stayed back for a while, smiling to himself as he looked back to his life. After all he had been through, he had been granted that beautiful family and these trustful friends, people he could count on at any time.

Eventually, his life had turned just perfect when he had met Kurt.

* * *

**For the record, there wasn't going to be an epilog to that story. But then I saw a drawing that is just beautiful that you can find at this address post/26462716271/lioliosc-i-drew-this-one-for-my-favorite-author (just erase the () to have the right address).**

**I don't have that much informations about that drawing, I just saw it and had to write something. I hope the person who did this won't mind. I'd love to tell you who it is exactly and where to find their work, so if you recognize your work, tell me so I can credit you for that.**


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